As you might remember, a few weeks ago my partner and I decided to take the big step and move in together. We’ve now reached our first month as roommates, which I think it’s a bigger milestone than our actual anniversary!!! This is the first time that any of us are living with a significant other, which kind of was a terrifying thought at the beginning as it felt like two blind people trying to drive a car….But it has worked out (at least so far!) and there are some great lessons I learnt in the meantime. So here’s what living with a boy over the past 30 days taught me:
1. Privacy is important, more so in a long term relationship: so invest in a spare room, be it a study, an extra bedroom or a smaller living room. It is a great relief to know i have my own space when I want to read, talk to my mom on Skype or watch another rerun of Sex and the City without him rolling his eyes.
2. Discover what you like to do together in the house and do lots of it!: many people like board games. Others watch movies, attend to their garden or enjoy washing the dishes (in the movies at least..!) What we do is playing music, watching movies but also, more than anything else, cooking. Big time. My man loooooves cooking and spending time with him in the kitchen has actually also improved my skills a lot. Although I’m not as good as him, I always try to give him a hand and this makes the whole process much more fun. Here are a few recipes that require 4 hands (or more):
3. Keep the mystery alive: He doesn’t know how I wax the hair off my bikini line. I don’t know how he trims his nose either. This is something I feel very strongly about: there’s no need for a couple that has just started sharing a life and a living space to start acting like they’ve been married for 40 years. My partner is still my lover and I won’t sacrifice a bit of that by leaving the door of the toilet open, asking him to help me wax or postponing taking a shower until I actually have to leave the house. (But because nobody’s perfect, I have to admit I tend to shave my legs a little less often than if I was just going on dates…)
4. Try a bit harder (but just a little bit): I’m one of those people who tend to nag easily. If I don’t get things the way I want them, I might turn into this deeply unhappy creature causing strife to anyone around her. I consider myself a relationship person, but then again, I feel compromise doesn’t come easy to me. But exactly because I love this guy so much, and he loves me back, I’ve decided to try a little bit harder. To think twice before nagging. To try to make it work with less or with different material. To get used to his way of doing things while showing him what mine is. It’s like tango. Steps might be going back or forward, but it certainly takes two to dance it.