I’ve already talked to you about the big decision taken earlier this year to move in with my other (better) half. It was something that made perfect sense at that moment, I was super excited about this new chapter in my life (it’ll be the first time ever that I’ll be sharing my home with my lover) and I could hardly wait for the day to come for him to move in and make our relationship even more #worthlivinit!
There is a BIG BUT. What I hadn’t though about was the stress. All the stress stemming from having someone move in, give them space (both literally and metaphorically), adapt to their daily schedule, make arrangements to accommodate their lifestyle as well etc.etc. And I know that these things might seem evident to many people, but they’re not. At least to me. I’m only of these horrible characters that if I could have a relationship with my clone, I would 🙂 (I’m kidding) (I’m actually NOT kidding, it’s perfectly true).
And for better or for worse, the boy we’re talking about is not my clone. He’s actually pretty different than me in many ways. We do share the same values, but the way we think we should strive towards fulfilling them differs. And sometimes we get lost in trying to explain our point of view to each other. And this is I find is a crucial point in the relationship, the moment that I either say “Oh my god, I can’t have this talk again, let me be, go away”, or the time that I actually think “Hmmm, this sounds right, maybe the guy has a point”. And I’m trying to do more and more of the latter, which I find to be a big sign of growing up.
Another stressful factor is my fear of being “domesticated”. When we started dating I was feeling I would like to spoil him more and more. Cook a bit for him (I never cook, he excellent in the kitchen), offer him things that would make his everyday routine a bit more enjoyable etc. And then I reached a point when I was asking him every afternoon “what would you like for dinner?”. If he took more than 30 seconds to respond I got frustrated, because I had to wait in front of the meat counter in the super market. If he didn’t like what I was proposing for dinner, I would get frustrated that he was too picky. I felt I was inadequate as a partner, but then again I didn’t want to turn into this girl that designs her day around house chores.
These are only a few of the things that have caused me stress in the past few weeks. And I’m really trying to work past them, because they’re stupid and hurtful. But also valid in a way, so rationalizing my fears is the way to go for me now!